Indiana Jones 5: The Search for the Missing Bonita Falls

I am an "Indiana Jones" fan.  I have "Raiders of the Lost Ark" in VHS, "The Last Crusade" in VCD, and casting all hopes for another adventure with my generation's favorite professor... I bought the DVD boxed set for the three episodes.  Needless to say, I was excited to see "Indiana Jones 4" especially when even old folks like me can rally behind the new Jones explorer- Shia (I can not spell his last name)- barely compensating, of course, for the lack of Sean Connery. Saw the flick, was miserably disappointed.

The thing is, the map from the San Bernardino National Forest showing the location of Bonita Falls is far more imaginative than Indiana Jones 4.  I pride myself for not only being an Indy-fan but for being a hiker with reasonable map-reading skills. The hot pink flyer (the color should already put us off) clearly state: past the Green Mountain Ranch sign cross the bridge, turn right along the creek, then follow the wash and the Bonita Falls will show up on our left.  Armed with this map, we left Smokey Bear at the Ranger Station humming the theme of Indiana Jones in my head, looking forward to see Bonita Falls.

We parked near the Green Mountain Ranch sign, took pictures of the Creek, touched its cool waters even as dozens of picnic-goers lounge on the banks.  We proceeded to follow the map crossed the bridge, looking for a place to turn right.  Maybe because we were the only ones dressed for a hike and the only ones without picnic gear but we surely stood out.  Maybe because we are lost.

An employee from the Ranch approached us to give us directions.  "I saw the two of you walking around," he told us we were on the wrong place.  The soundtrack in my mind crashed. "It is a bit further down, you can't miss it."  Off we go.  We drove around the Creek at least twice, ended up in a picnic ground where there are Forest Volunteers on break.  Once again, in a very un-Indy-like manner, we asked for directions. "You just went past it, follow the wash in the canyon, you can't miss it."  Really?

We headed back the same way.  It was beginning to feel like a Quentin Tarantino film rather than Indiana Jones. We headed for a large path beyond the creek filled with rocks... yes, only rocks.  No one in sight and nor does it seem like there is a Falls anywhere near. Ching and I wondered just what it is that we can not miss.

We were about to turn around (again) when a family of 12 appeared from nowhere.  We asked if they just came from the Falls. "Yes, but it is really, really far." About an hour from here? "No, twenty minutes.  Just follow that path, you can't miss it." If you say so.

 

There we go again.  We walked for about half an hour.  We figured the shallow (nearly dried water) perpendicular to the Creek is actually the famed "Wash."  We nearly went past the sign pointing to the upward path to the Falls.  It was not much of a sign, it was a graffiti board. Once again, almost ready to give up on this path, we saw a few people with children coming down.  "Have you been to the Falls?" we asked.  "Yes, there is a path, you can't miss it." Uh-huh.

Are we getting the point?  After one more dead end, we finally arrived to see Bonita Falls.  From our vantage point, we can see about 3 feet of it.  No wonder the "wash" is nearly dried.  They should call it Chiquita Falls.  We took a couple of photos and headed down.  At least we found it, even though, just like with Indiana Jones 4 we were disappointed.

  Parting Shot:  As we were walking back to the car, crossing the creek, a boy who was part of the family who gave us directions asked me, "Did you see the Falls?"  I said, yes, but it was small and a bit disappointing.  He looked at me funny. It is tall and big, you just got to climb up a bit more...  Duh!

Indiana Jones theme please... tan tannan tan, tan tanan, ta-nan, ta-nan... roll credits... We are ready for Part 6.